Concordia TheoBLOGical Seminary

Each day our lives are impacted by sin. It could be our own sinful actions and nature, the tragic effects of the earth itself being corrupted (disasters, for example), and the sinful actions of others perpetrated against us. An example of the latter is abusive relationships. I don’t have first-hand experience, neither abusing nor having been abused, but I have counseled my brothers and sisters in Christ who have become entangled in such evil.

It was just recently that I was asked about such abuse. “What have I done to deserve this?” “Is it wrong for me to want to escape? If I stay, I can continue to be a witness to the Gospel and forgiveness. If I escape, aren’t I abandoning them to their sin?”

Are these your questions? Are these the questions of your friends or loved ones? Is someone perhaps asking these questions about your own actions?

If you are so entangled, know that our Lord Jesus has not forgotten you, he has not forsaken you, and he has not turned his back on you during these trying times. He knows what it is to feel the sting of the sin of another. He felt the sting of scourge and nails for the sins of the whole world, even these sins of abuse.

We feel the sting of such evil in our lives because we are still living here in this veil of tears. Jesus’ promises of bliss and tranquility are the promises of the new Heaven and new Earth. His assurances for this life are of trial, persecution, and suffering. We will have crosses to bear, we will have sicknesses (of body and mind), we will have tears and sadness. As these touch your life you are not loved any less by God. How could you be? You are already loved perfectly by God in Christ Jesus. You are loved fully and completely.

The nature of evil and why pain must exist in this life must wait for another post. What shall we do then when we find ourselves trapped in the cycle of abuse, codependency, and danger? I humbly offer these suggestions, links to expert information, and my most sincere prayers for all who abuse and all whom they abuse.

1. Escape. Find a way out of the relationship. You are worth much more in God’s eyes, in the eyes of your brothers and sisters in Christ, and to someone who would truly love you as a lover ought to.
2. In your escape, seek out care for those who have suffered abuse. The damage is deeper than the bruises, cuts, and the unspeakable. There is help to heal your body, mind, and soul.
3. You are not guilty. The blood of Jesus covers all your sins, and your having been abused is not a sin of yours. All the same, the guilt which you feel is taken away in the suffering, death, and resurrection of Jesus. Seek out where you may immerse yourself in the spiritual care of God’s Word and Sacraments.
4. Don’t be afraid. You grades may suffer. You may miss work. You may need to move. You may need to sever common ties between you and your abuser. Don’t be afraid. Your teachers/professors are glad that you are safe. Your pastor is thankful that you are free. Any boss should rejoice that his worker is free. Anyone worthy of being called your friend will also rejoice.
5. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are here to love you and care for you. You may need help packing, moving, driving, hiding, and surviving. The Body of Christ exists to care for the Body of Christ and to care for all people.

Finally, here are a few links that you may find helpful. Try to find a shelter in your area, friends who will help you, doctors who can care for you, and a pastor who can bring the Gospel to you. These are God’s gifts to bring you safely through.

In danger? Call 911.

Shelters in some major cities:
Austin, Texas: 512-267-SAFE (7233)
Chicago, Illinois
Dallas/Fort Worth, Texas
Detroit, Michigan
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Houston, Texas

National Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Lord Jesus, quickly come, that the darkness of these earthly days would be replaced by the perpetual light of your grace and glory which is our inheritance by your death and resurrection. In your holy name we pray. Amen.